Friday, September 9, 2011

Tears can HEAL.

How is it that kids can go from this:

to this?

And in a matter of seconds?

Answer: Kids carry around BIG emotions for their LITTLE bodies. 

Have you noticed that our first instinct when hearing a child or toddler cry is to try to quickly get them to stop.  Of course if they are crying because they are hungry, wet, or tired we meet their physical needs...but what about the rest of the time... crying because of their emotional frustrations? 

We often feel frustrated ourselves when we can't seem to get them to be quiet (especially in public)... like as if we stop them from crying then they all of a sudden will rid themselves of the feelings they were feeling before. 

Just like adults, children also let out their frustrations, sadness, feelings of powerlessness, and isolation with tears. Tears are healing. Let me say that again: Tears are healing.

Tears can be a great opportunity to strengthen connection with your child. If you cut them short or immediately hand them to someone else- you are missing out on a moment where you can just hold and reconnect with one another. 

Try it: instead of automatically trying to "shut up" your child when they begin to cry... try using that opportunity to be present and just be with them while they experience their feelings. 

Sometimes that's all a person wants is to be heard and to reconnect. Try it.



  1. I love this! Our pediatrician was just telling us the other day how important it is for kids to be able to work through their feelings, and that we just need to let them sometimes...compassionately, of course!

  2. So true Jess. It can be hard but it is great to keep in mind that it is good for them!

  3. Thanks for the reminder! My 4th is such a "good" quiet little one most of the time, it breaks my heart when he's sad and I have to admit to having the urge to quiet him back down asap.