Being OKAY with just okay

I have had such a desire to write in here lately.

I can't tell you how often I have thoughts come to mind and I think- "Wow I would just love to write this all down in a post!"

 But the time passes me by and I wait for just the right time and just the right words and *POOF* my inspiration and desire to share just seems to just go away.

I know I know-What do you expect…I am busy mom chasing kids and cleaning up after messes. Who really has the time anyway?

But the itch still keeps coming back to me.

Is it inspiration? Or am I just in need of a venting session...

 I don't know.

 Maybe it's my therapy.

Ever since I have taken a break from counseling to stay home with my kids- I can't help but feel there is something out there that I need to do to share and connect with others in some way. But yet I find myself reluctant to share my thoughts because I don't have everything set up perfectly on my page the way I want or for fear of offending someone with my beliefs. But lately I have felt the need to share. Share something.

To be bold.

I have decided it is time just to write. Get it out. Perfect or not perfect I just need to put my thoughts out there when I feel inspired to do so. 

I am one of those people who has a difficult time being okay with just okay. It's something I fight on a daily basis. When I do something- I put my whole heart into it. My house is either completely organized and clean or a complete disaster. (today it's a mess) Why is it that it just can't seem to find a happy middle? A comfortable middle?

Neither immaculate or disaster. I need to be okay with just okay. I have little people depending on me and that is where my heart is right now.

  

But I can't help but feel like I need to share even if it is not exactly the 110% I would normally put into something. I have decided to just keep plugging away with posts that come to my mind- despite them being delivered perfectly the way I want. Or despite them reaching a mass amount of people.

This is not a blog full of cute DIYs, fashion advice, or photographs showing you a life of my cutely dressed kids and a put together mother. I don't have sponsors or am looking to make money off my blog. As much as I admire and dream about doing those things one day and on occasion may share some of them-the truth is...I am writing you on my phone in my pjs adorned with spots of spit up as I rock my baby in my arms. This is  my life right now. And I am okay with that. No I am more than just okay with that...I LOVE it.  I know my limitations and that my heart is not easily divided...and it is a wonderful blessing really. 

As my little one drifts off to sleep, I cant help but express how I love this kid more than words can describe... I love being his mom. I wouldn't trade it for anything.

I want my kids to know what I stand for. I want my kids to know how I feel about being their mother. I want to share light with those who at times may find darkness in their world. I want to take a stand for  womanhood and motherhood. I want to share my thoughts even if it is not very popular by many.

So here I am. Just little old me.

I am ready to share. I am ready to be okay with just okay.

 I think I hear another monthly challenge coming on. 

Besitos. Xo