Sunday, September 29, 2013

Question 3: What would you do now to support someone who has experienced a loss.

I have absolutely loved reading the answers from these women ( read question 1 here and question 2 here) have all suffered such great loss. I truly am making it my mission to be ready to serve those who need us...even if it is something simple. On to the final question:

3) After having experienced your experience- how would you respond to a love one who was going through something similar?

“I wouldn’t be afraid to be with them. I would check in daily, weekly, for months, until I knew they had learned to live around their grief. I would accept them wherever they were in the grief process. If I thought that they were getting to far lost in their grief and despair, I would push them to see a counselor. That being said, I would make sure that they had the name and number of someone I trusted to help them. I would just do things that I knew they needed. Which might be watching their children, running errands, or helping the rest of their friends and family to understand that grief is unique and is not contagious. I wouldn’t ask them to take care of me and my feelings or needs.”

“I would DO SOMETHING. Don't feel like your idea is stupid or worry if they'll like it. Just do it. If I lived near them, I would at least stop by to give them my love. I think the hardest part for people is knowing what to give a griever.. Chocolate always made me feel better.  Really though, if there was any advice I could give, it would be to stop by their house for a minute or two, give them a small gift to show you love them, and stay if they needed someone to talk to.  Any act of service is truly appreciated. If I didn't live near them, I would send something. I have been amazed at how many things I have received in the mail. Even if it's just a card, it means so much. Again, it's the thought that counts.”

Ya know after going through some stuff. I found that I just need to figure out something, anything that might be helpful for that person and just do it. We mowed the lawn once and we thought that might be something they didn't have time to think about or dreaded doing in the moment. Also just making a treat and sending it to them. Sometimes I have no idea what to do.. but I know i have to do something so they know I'm here.
“The one thing I didn't want to do while my friends were going through grief.. is to stand by and keep my distance. To an extent.. yes.. But I didn't want to disappear just because of lack of words or advice. Love and kindness and SHOWING you care not just telling is always the best I think.”

"Once again, it depends on the situation. Love, support, compassion, service, thoughts, prayers etc. are all a great way to start.  I read a fabulous article a while back about who you can say what to during a difficult time.  I've attached it because the article will explain it much better than I ever could.  This is definitely a great way to look at grief.  Comfort the inner rings of the circle, dump to the outer rings of the circle. I think this works whether it is illness, death, financial hardship or whatever else is happening to people you love."

" I am more in tune and can truly sympathize with that person.  I want to do something because my heart is telling me to, not just because I get a thought telling me its the right thing to do."

How Does She post will be up this Tuesday...


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