Stuck in my head.

I sit at the computer trying to type. Seems so much lately just stays STUCK in my mind. There is so much I want to share with the world but I sit at the computer and nothing wants to come out. So many thoughts, ideas, emotions...but yet I feel stuck. stuck. STUCK!! 

Today, I am not going to think so much. I do way too much of that. I am going to just speak from the heart.... whatever the heart wants to share. No plans... I am sick of planning...I have always been a planner.

I was 13 when I decided I wanted to work as some sort of psycho-therapist helping others on their path. 13! I knew my purpose and was so confident in who I was at 13- or at least I thought I was. I wanted to help couples, women, and marriages. I wanted to help families bond and grow together. I wanted to help women reach their full potential. I wanted to inspired others to be happy. I was a dreamer and a planner. By the age 30... I was going to be SUCCESSFUL!

This is photo was taken on my 30th birthday.

But what is success anyhow?

My plan went something like this in my head:

Age 21: Graduate with my undergrad. 

Age 23: Receive my PHD in child psychology. 

Age 24: Conduct several published studies and journal articles.

Age 26: Write my first book.  

Age 28: Create a well renowned Therapeutic Preschool for kids and their parents

Age 29: Date a guy seriously

Age 30: Get hitched....down the road have babies.

My heart had other plans:

Age 21: Married my best friend and graduated undergrad. 

Age 23: Move to Scottsdale and nannied while my husband went to graduate school. 

Age 24: Moved to Boise and started my graduate school program in Marriage and Family Counseling. 

Age 26: Graduated with my Masters and was pregnant with my first child. 

Age 28: Opened a small private practice: Live Inspired Counseling

Age 29: Pregnant again but miscarried after 12 weeks of pregnancy. 

Age 30: Had my second child and turned 31 five days later 

 

Honestly, I look at both of these lists and am grateful for my path. Just because I chose another focus doesn't make my worth as a person any less. I got an email from my little sister who is working towards her bachelors in Biology. She was expressing to me about her true feelings about her career path options. She was worried that her true passion wasn't "prestigious" enough. 

Today I tell you sister and to women all around- Follow what is in your heart and you will never have any regrets. Learn to TRUST your inner voice. As women we have lots of voices- But focus on the voice that tells you that your worth is NOT dependent on how YOU measure success. You are ALWAYS of worth.

At age 30 my path was different than once planned. Am I still successful? Well that depends on how I measure success. Am I happy? 

Absolutely. Maybe even MORE so.

Then yes. That is how I choose to measure my success. 

The sun is shining. Birds are chirping- I have to go out and play... Much much more to come...this is just the beginning....I think I just may have unstuck myself...

besitos, xo