Wednesday, September 5, 2012

Me as a grade schooler...

When I was in my early years of grade school-  my mom went to parent teacher conference and the teacher reported being very "pleased" with my hard work and behavior in school.

After a long pause she continued on with, "However, I am concerned with her stomach." Basically stating that at moments I seemed anxious or nervous...

...and she was right.

{The perfectionist at age 5 and practicing staying in the lines}

My stomach often was in knots or had dancing butterflies whirling inside.

I was nervous.

I put a lot of pressure on myself to please my teacher and my parents... and well myself really. It hung over my head each and every day as I tried to do my work "perfectly." My mom recalls moments when I would be practicing my handwriting and would not get a certain letter to be just the way I wanted- I would end up erasing holes into my paper and then crumple it up and start over...and over...and over again.

 I took school really seriously (a little to seriously- why didn't anyone tell me elementary grades didn't really count towards anything!) and therefore, I was slightly obsessive about it.
Maybe a touch of OCD?

 I was that kid that never had to be reminded to do my homework. I just did it. The consequence of not having it turned in was enough to make me never forget an assignment...EVER. 

I was a mother's dream.

Luckily,  that perfectionist little girl- the girl who felt like she had to do everything perfectly- is just a distant memory. 

Today, I am much more free. I am okay to not have everything go as planned. I am okay with leaving a mess...a little too good at that one- I think. I am okay about coloring outside of the lines or making a mistake. And I am okay about not being perfect and pleasing everyone.

It was through expressive art journaling-  that I have found how to let go of controlling an outcome and just roll with what is.
 It is what it is- is now my motto or in the words of p90x's Tony- Do your best forget the rest.

 I will be introducing you my monthly challenge involves making a mess...

But when does a little healthy does of anxiety in children become a problem?

What do you think?
 If you think your child may have anxiety about school or anxiety in general read more signs here.



  1. It is a typical dynamic for a first born. I was a first born too and I was like a mini adult watching and observing the adult world so I could mimic it.

  2. Very true! You gotta love us first borns!!