Question 3: What would you do now to support someone who has experienced a loss.

(photo by Laurie Ruth Photography)

I have absolutely loved reading the answers from these women ( read question 1 here and question 2 here) have all suffered such great loss. I truly am making it my mission to be ready to serve those who need us...even if it is something simple. On to the final question:

3) After having experienced your experience- how would you respond to a love one who was going through something similar?

“I wouldn’t be afraid to be with them. I would check in daily, weekly, for months, until I knew they had learned to live around their grief. I would accept them wherever they were in the grief process. If I thought that they were getting to far lost in their grief and despair, I would push them to see a counselor. That being said, I would make sure that they had the name and number of someone I trusted to help them. I would just do things that I knew they needed. Which might be watching their children, running errands, or helping the rest of their friends and family to understand that grief is unique and is not contagious. I wouldn’t ask them to take care of me and my feelings or needs.”

“I would DO SOMETHING. Don't feel like your idea is stupid or worry if they'll like it. Just do it. If I lived near them, I would at least stop by to give them my love. I think the hardest part for people is knowing what to give a griever.. Chocolate always made me feel better.  Really though, if there was any advice I could give, it would be to stop by their house for a minute or two, give them a small gift to show you love them, and stay if they needed someone to talk to.  Any act of service is truly appreciated. If I didn't live near them, I would send something. I have been amazed at how many things I have received in the mail. Even if it's just a card, it means so much. Again, it's the thought that counts.”

“Ya know after going through some stuff. I found that I just need to figure out something, anything that might be helpful for that person and just do it. We mowed the lawn once and we thought that might be something they didn't have time to think about or dreaded doing in the moment. Also just making a treat and sending it to them. Sometimes I have no idea what to do.. but I know i have to do something so they know I'm here.

“The one thing I didn't want to do while my friends were going through grief.. is to stand by and keep my distance. To an extent.. yes.. But I didn't want to disappear just because of lack of words or advice. Love and kindness and SHOWING you care not just telling is always the best I think.”

"Once again, it depends on the situation. Love, support, compassion, service, thoughts, prayers etc. are all a great way to start.  I read a fabulous article a while back about who you can say what to during a difficult time.  I've attached it because the article will explain it much better than I ever could.  This is definitely a great way to look at grief.  Comfort the inner rings of the circle, dump to the outer rings of the circle. I think this works whether it is illness, death, financial hardship or whatever else is happening to people you love."

" I am more in tune and can truly sympathize with that person.  I want to do something because my heart is telling me to, not just because I get a thought telling me its the right thing to do."

How Does She post will be up this Tuesday...

besitos, 

xo

"Anxiously Engaged in a Good Cause"

I feel like I have neglected talking much about my challenge this month. 

Probably because I am striving to live it- there is not a lot of extra time! 

But I assure you I have been busy serving and doing what I can to get involved. 

THANK YOU to all of you who downloaded Bianca Merkley's Song and donated to the great cause.

If you still want to help- you can- we will make sure the money is put towards helping someone in need this Christmas.  

I did a How Does She post here on what we were doing for Hurricane Sandy- here are some of the images from Joshua Brown's video. 

What's my next project?

 Well, I have been busy these days planning and gathering things to take to two different orphanages in Thailand. I'll share more later next year.

 But for now I have to tell you that I have been inspired and corresponding with a woman named Allyson who has a family blog: http://www.carefreetimelessness.blogspot.com/ where she writes about her adventures traveling around different parts of the world, including Thailand, and serving for extended periods of time with her husband and FIVE kids! I loved going through her blog and reading about the experiences- it reminded me of visiting orphanages in Latin America with my family as a kid.

 If you get some time- go ahead and flip through some of her stories and images on what she has done... such a neat experience. How lucky are those kids to grow up with that experience?

In one of her first posts she writes about what she wants her children to learn. She writes:

I have been thinking a lot about what I want my kids to come away with from our home.  What ideas out of everything I teach them do I want to stand out?  Things that when they see, or feel or come across will be very familiar to them and the feelings in our home.  This is what I came up with.

To be anxiously engaged in a good cause.
To render simple acts of service
To be thoughtful and kind to the one- to love individually
To find the joy in all things
To be courageous in standing for truth and right

Isn't that awesome? I just may use some of this in our family mission statement!

Then she ends with this: 

So, with our whole theme of being deliberate, I am going to engage them in a good cause tonight.  We are going to rake leaves at an elderly lady's home that we have done the last couple of years-she has such a beautiful piece of property with an apple orchard as far as the eye can see.  So one experience after another it will help them see that that is what we do.  We help those in need.  And then when they are older and away from home they will naturally look for moments to serve...and their hearts will yearn for it because it will be a part of them.  I like how simple it is.  All it requires is an idea, some rakes, sweatshirts, and hot chocolate at the end.  Whalah! 

That is what this month's challenge is all about.

LIVING FOR OTHERS. 

May your holiday season be bright and shared with others you love.

xo,

Charity is not an act...it is a condition of the heart.

Today I start my 60 days of gratitude challenge: 

Today I am grateful for this guy.

So, as the holidays touch our hearts and we want to serve-

 how do we teach our children to have gratitude and charity?

Answer? 

Practice it ourselves- then teach them through example.

I had another fabulous class by Carleen Tanner last week. We discussed charity. 

The thing that stuck out to me the most is the reminder that 

charity is not an act...it is a condition of the heart.

How do we condition our heart to be like this?

She  gave us a continuum that looked somewhat like this one below...and asked us where we we fell on the spectrum of serving others.

Oh boy...

The idea is to reach #5 one day- "The May I Serve" category where we are continually looking for ways and others to serve. Once we are there...our children will learn what gratitude and charity means.

Wow...looks like I have some work to do.

No better time then now I guess?

#1 I WONT SERVE:	#2 I HAVE TO SERVE:	#3 I WILL SERVE:	#4 I WANT TO SERVE:	#5 MAY I  SERVE?
Doesn’t want to serve.	Does it but complains.	Serves out of duty not joy.	Willing to give the time required when asked.	Seeks out ways to serve others

besitos,