HALT! Four reasons your child misbehaves.

You would think that a kid who was so excited about being a rocket ship for Halloween would let me take a million photos of him wearing his costume. 

Nope.

I had to beg him to let me take just one photo and this is what he gives me...he practically is taking it off before I can even snap the shot.

However, we had a lovely Halloween.

I've been busy at a Play Therapy Conference and will talk more about that later. 

But I thought I would share with you a little reminder I had as a parent yesterday. When our child misbehaves, our first response as a parent is to stop the behavior. But as parents we ourselves have to HALT and look through the eyes of a child. Children usually act out because they are one or more of these four things:

H- hungry

A- angry

L-lonely

T- tired

CONFESSION:

I had an experience yesterday where little man had a HUGE melt down. The reason being that the chocolate he had in his hands melted and he was sad that he didn't get a chance to eat it. Well, that is what he was telling me. But I knew he was coming from a place of hunger, tiredness, anger, and loneliness. He has missed his nap that day, filled himself with candy, and it had been a long day out of our usual routine where he needed some time to reconnect with me.

And let me tell you, it probably took a good 30 minutes of uncontrollable crying and some play before he felt better. Luckily dad was there to help out.

If we would have become upset and told him to get over it- how do you think he would have been left feeling? Would any of his needs have been met with that response?

How do I act when I am hungry, angry, lonely, or tired?

Just something to think about this weekend.

besitos, 

xo

P.S. Winner for the giveaway has been announced. Congratulations Deveney!

Goodbye Summer...School is here.

Sadly Summer is saying goodbye to us...school is starting...

How do your kids feel about it? Excited, scared, angry, or sad? Little bit everything?

It is completely normal for kids to have back to school jitters. You may notice they either have a lot more energy and are bouncing off the walls...or they may be isolating and seem more sluggish than usual.

Some signs that your child may be feeling nervous for school:

Belly Aches

Headaches

Short and Shallow Breaths

Grouchiness

Loss of appetite

Restless Sleep

Clinginess

More on this subject real soon.

besitos, 

xo

time vs. teach

Although it seems to take 10 times as long...I love it when little man helps me in the kitchen. He hops onto a stool and exclaims that he wants to do it "all by himself."

You can imagine what happens next. 

Taking the time to teach and let him learn is priceless.

besitos, xo

My surprise when I opened my email... plus printable bonus.

I opened my email and found this from My Publisher on a 60% sale they are having for Father's Day.

I smiled. 

Then, I teared up.

 Mostly because how cute are my boys? They look so much the same! And mostly because I miss my mister who has been away on a business trip for more than a week and a half now. Boo.

We kept missing each other on Skype- literally within minutes of each other- (so frustrating) I decided I get slightly grouchy with out him.

Come home!

So stop over at Mypublisher.com and you just might see our mugs wearing staches over there! It's funny because over a year ago mypublisher emailed me and asked if they could feature a book I made with these photos... I can't remember if I ever saw it on their site- But looks like they are still being putto good use even after a year and a half... but this time somehow we are now the "Gibson Family!" :)

Okay- now on to what I am really here to post about... just as I promised.... here is a way to download my visual schedule printables!! 

Yay! 

If you have no idea what I am talking about go here.

If you do, and want to download- go here. 

I am sure I will think of more and will keep you posted when I do.

Besitos-

xo

Encouragement vs. Praise

Tuesdays are the days I go to a fabulous parenting class- or something I like to think of as "Mommies anonymous." While there are a few (maybe two) men in the class- the majority of this class is women. Women with young children, women with grown up children, women with a plethora of children, and women in the back holding their new little born babies. All women in different stages of life but with SIMILAR "issues" revolving around parenting. Guilt, worry, frustrations, surprises, trials, etc. seem to be brought up by many every class.  It must be a requirement of motherhood to feel these feelings.

Last week we discussed Encouragement vs. Praise. 
Aren't the same thing you ask? 
Well, actually nope- totally different.  
Here's how. 

Praise is only temporary 

Encouragement is long lasting internal 

Praise:  is product oriented- "to do"

Encouragement: is internally oriented- "to be"

Praise: uses Superlatives like "most beautiful", "best", "prettiest"

Encouragement: refrains from using superlatives

Praise: creates winners and losers in a situation

Encouragement: creates a win-win

Praise: uses general compliment such as "good job"

Encouragement: uses specific compliments: " I love the way you worked so hard..."

Praise: is about the end product and therefore accomplishments are indication of self-worth

Encouragement: accomplishments are separate of self-worth

Examples:

Praise: "You are the greatest wife in the world" 

Encouragement: "you worked so hard at.... I believe in you."

Praise: "You are the best."

Encouragement:  "I really appreciate...about you."

Praise: "You did a super beautiful job."

Encouragement: "I love your persistence at..."

This week I really made note of how often I found  myself praising. "Good boy" or "You are the best," kept creeping out of my mouth.  So rephrasing it to something like. "You really worked hard at putting that puzzle together" instead of "Good boy" was quite a challenge.

Get the idea?

The person that encourages:

-places value on the child as he/she is
-has faith in the child's ability
-recognizes a job well done and gives recognition for EFFORT
-recognizes and focuses on strengths and assets
-asks permission to give advice or help
-is SPECIFIC in giving compliments
-refrains from encouraging others as a way manipulate 


lastly...YOU DON'T HAVE TO HAVE A PUNISHMENT FOR EVERY MISBEHAVIOR.

check out more of Carleen Tanner's Parenting class here.

Besitos,