Showing posts with label therapy tools. Show all posts
Showing posts with label therapy tools. Show all posts

Tuesday, August 14, 2012

How to listen to your child through their stories.

Now that you have a bag- {Make one HERE if not}


 I have a great tool that I use in my counseling practice to check in with what perceptions and beliefs my clients may have by playing a game I call "Story in a Bag."

Listening to our children's stories not only builds relationships with our children but they also can reveal a lot about what’s going on in their world.


You may have recognized this game over at How Does She  right {HERE} where I spoke on how to play the game.

Simply have a bag full of random items like this:

Then have your child pick 3 to 5 objects from the bag.


 Then they have to come up with an original story using those items in it. Have them come up with a moral to their story if they are old enough to do so. I love to hear what they come up with!


Many of you may be interested about how I use this Story in a Bag to understand more about the children I am seeing.

NOTE: Now, I am not advocating taking this tool and using it as a replacement for a "therapy session" but I am saying you can use it to listen deeper to what your child is trying to tell you through their story.


Questions to ask yourself that can reveal a lot about what's going on internally are:

What is a theme in my child’s story?
Does my child seem to have a lot of worry or anxiety themes?
Is there a positive or negative ending?
Is there resolution at the end of the story?
How are problems solved?
What values or beliefs are portrayed in the story?
What kind of attitude does the main character have when approaching a problem?
Who solves the problem?
Was there one way or more than one way to solve the problem?

The answers to these questions may parallel a theme or an attitude your child may have.

Things to be aware of and may require more attention are: 
- The story has sexual content in it:  is never appropriate to have sexual content in a child's story or play. If you are at all concerned, seek professional help.

-There is a pattern of stories that have anxiety or fears and often go unresolved: Children often tell stories about stuff that worries or scares them- but usually there is a solution or resolution to the conflict. 

-There is a lack of detail in their story: If your child is simply retelling a familiar movie or tv show and has a difficult time coming up with something new- then there could be concern. Childhood should be a time when imagination is at it's peak. Just keep observing to see if it translates in their everyday life. Are they playing age appropriately?

-Most of their stories are negative or pessimistic: Take note if the environments in their stories are dark and depressing or if the heros in the stories are powerless and always have failures. Just be aware if this at all parallels any behavior or attitudes you have noticed in your child.

Again seek professional help if you internally feel uncertain. They can help with any doubts or questions you may have!

Listen to your intuition-  you know your child better than anyone.

Any other questions- feel free to drop me a line. I love to help!


besitos, xo

Thursday, September 15, 2011

Get a little messy.



Today we woke up feeling like getting a little messy. So, out came the shaving cream... nothing is better than shaving cream because it's a quick and easy clean up.  Young kiddos are using all their senses to learn and explore their world and rubbing things through their fingers is part of it. So get MESSY!

Idea: spray some shaving cream on both sides of the window- then each of you take one side of the window and mimic whatever your child is doing! It promotes a lot of giggles and they love feeling watched and connected that way. 

Draw or write a love notr to each other as well. 
Great way to connect with one another. 

WARNING: this is SUPPOSED to be messy. Let go and allow it to happen. 


xoxo- besitos,

 

Tuesday, June 28, 2011

Sometimes we just need a FUN DAY.



Since children process their emotions through play- there can be all sorts of emotions that arise. Every now and again during my play dates (counseling sessions) with kids there reaches a point where they feel emotional and may cry. Furthermore, if they are a kiddo who is shy from showing emotions- then it can embarrassing, scary, uncomfortable, and/or vulnerable.


So, to off set that- I offer "fun passes" that they can hand to me on a day where they are not in the mood to go to that emotional place. No talk of serious stuff or activities that illicit emotional responses (pinky swear)- just  45 minutes where a kid can escape from their life stressors and just be a kid in a fun an safe environment. Doesn't that sound nice? 


 I think we all could use a fun day. 


Idea: Try handing out "fun passes" as rewards.