What's the hurry?

I had another great reminder in Sister Tanner's Positive Parenting Class the other week that reminded me about being still. Which for me mean to stop being in such a hurry.

A quote by best selling author and journalist Anna Quindlen:

“...But the biggest mistake I made is the one that most of us make while doing this. I did not live in the moment enough. This is particularly clear now that the moment is gone, captured only in photographs. There is one picture of the three on them sitting in the grass on a quilt in the shadow of the swing set on a summer day, ages 6, 4, and 1. And  I wish I could remember what we ate, and what we talked about, and how they sounded, and how they looked when they slept that night. I wish I had not been in a hurry to get on to the next things: dinner, bath, book, bed. I wish I had treasured the doing a little more and the getting it done a little less.”
― Anna Quindlen

Yesterday little man fell asleep in my arms and instead of getting on with my day- I stopped. I just sat there. I studied his little face and felt his little hands in mine. I thought of this quote and it reminded me to treasure this moment...one day he will be grown up and it will be just a far memory. But I am so glad to say I have at least the memory.

Don't live life WISHING you could go back in time because you failed to let those moments pass you by.

Besitos,

7 gifts of Valentines....

Sigh. I just LOVE love... therefore, I LOVE Valentines Day.
The 7 day countdown to Valentines begins!

But this year,  Valentine's Day is not only about thinking of that special man in my life but it also means thinking of my little man as well!

Last week at play group, a friend made a comment that has carried over into this week and it was how one of the greatest lessons of unselfishness in this life is that of being a mother. So, true. 

It is difficult to continually be focusing on one owns desires when there is a little toddler who is tugging at you for his need of his "chockit" milk or a bike ride around the block, or even just a snuggle from time to time.

From the moment they arrive in this world, we are essentially their lifeline. They need us to thrive. And there is no walking away from that. 

He is so much a part of me and I am so much a part of him. In fact, young infants don't even know they are separate from their mother for a long time!  We are one.

Therefore, even as I sit down to write in my blog- the thoughts of motherhood come poring into my mind... that's it I have officially turned into a mommy blogger- can you blame me...there is nothing I love more than my little family.

not even oreos.



 What can I do to be a better mother and wife? Every day this week I am going to share one thing I am working on to strive to just be a little better than the day before.
 
Warning: I am on parenting class mode...I have been once again taking another semester of Carleen Tanner's Positive Parenting Class and am constantly feeling inspired- so you may be hearing several thoughts the next few weeks as I am pondering our discussions.

She challenged us this month on making every one of our children feel as though they are our favorite child.

And I loved that idea and I am going to try that with both my husband and little man.

To me, it means individually building a relationship with each one. 

Taking the time to make them feel that they are so important to us- that they are our favorite.

I know I know- easy for me to say since I only have one little one at home. But I want to make this a habit so I can to it with each one of my children one day...

So today's GIFT:
MAKE EVERY ONE OF YOUR CHILDREN FEEL AS THOUGH THEY ARE YOUR FAVORITE.

Charity is not an act...it is a condition of the heart.

Today I start my 60 days of gratitude challenge: 

Today I am grateful for this guy.

So, as the holidays touch our hearts and we want to serve-

 how do we teach our children to have gratitude and charity?

Answer? 

Practice it ourselves- then teach them through example.

I had another fabulous class by Carleen Tanner last week. We discussed charity. 

The thing that stuck out to me the most is the reminder that 

charity is not an act...it is a condition of the heart.

How do we condition our heart to be like this?

She  gave us a continuum that looked somewhat like this one below...and asked us where we we fell on the spectrum of serving others.

Oh boy...

The idea is to reach #5 one day- "The May I Serve" category where we are continually looking for ways and others to serve. Once we are there...our children will learn what gratitude and charity means.

Wow...looks like I have some work to do.

No better time then now I guess?

#1 I WONT SERVE:	#2 I HAVE TO SERVE:	#3 I WILL SERVE:	#4 I WANT TO SERVE:	#5 MAY I  SERVE?
Doesn’t want to serve.	Does it but complains.	Serves out of duty not joy.	Willing to give the time required when asked.	Seeks out ways to serve others

besitos, 

Encouragement vs. Praise

Tuesdays are the days I go to a fabulous parenting class- or something I like to think of as "Mommies anonymous." While there are a few (maybe two) men in the class- the majority of this class is women. Women with young children, women with grown up children, women with a plethora of children, and women in the back holding their new little born babies. All women in different stages of life but with SIMILAR "issues" revolving around parenting. Guilt, worry, frustrations, surprises, trials, etc. seem to be brought up by many every class.  It must be a requirement of motherhood to feel these feelings.

Last week we discussed Encouragement vs. Praise. 
Aren't the same thing you ask? 
Well, actually nope- totally different.  
Here's how. 

Praise is only temporary 

Encouragement is long lasting internal 

Praise:  is product oriented- "to do"

Encouragement: is internally oriented- "to be"

Praise: uses Superlatives like "most beautiful", "best", "prettiest"

Encouragement: refrains from using superlatives

Praise: creates winners and losers in a situation

Encouragement: creates a win-win

Praise: uses general compliment such as "good job"

Encouragement: uses specific compliments: " I love the way you worked so hard..."

Praise: is about the end product and therefore accomplishments are indication of self-worth

Encouragement: accomplishments are separate of self-worth

Examples:

Praise: "You are the greatest wife in the world" 

Encouragement: "you worked so hard at.... I believe in you."

Praise: "You are the best."

Encouragement:  "I really appreciate...about you."

Praise: "You did a super beautiful job."

Encouragement: "I love your persistence at..."

This week I really made note of how often I found  myself praising. "Good boy" or "You are the best," kept creeping out of my mouth.  So rephrasing it to something like. "You really worked hard at putting that puzzle together" instead of "Good boy" was quite a challenge.

Get the idea?

The person that encourages:

-places value on the child as he/she is
-has faith in the child's ability
-recognizes a job well done and gives recognition for EFFORT
-recognizes and focuses on strengths and assets
-asks permission to give advice or help
-is SPECIFIC in giving compliments
-refrains from encouraging others as a way manipulate 


lastly...YOU DON'T HAVE TO HAVE A PUNISHMENT FOR EVERY MISBEHAVIOR.

check out more of Carleen Tanner's Parenting class here.

Besitos,