Vision Board 2014: Career and Community

Last summer, before my baby was born, was the last official counseling session I had with a child/teen in person. It would be a lie if I said I didn't miss it (them) terribly. It would be another lie if I said I am not loving staying home with my two little ones. For me as a mother, it was the only way to keep sanity. I just wasn't bred to juggle a career outside the home and raise up my little ones. Counseling will always be there for me...the stages of my boys being little...will not. So, I came to the difficult decision to let go of my private practice (for now) and say goodbye to working at the hospital for now. 

The next chapter in my life begins as I find other avenues to make a difference...to share what I know and inspire others without it pulling me away from my kids. One thing is for sure...whatever I do- I must have a passion for it, find joy in, and use creativity. So another one of my vision boards for 2014 is for this very thing...Career and Community.

And I have to tell you that yesterday morning I woke up to a prompting to look up a counseling workshop this month...and what do you know-it was exactly the topic I needed to know about starting up a virtual counseling/coaching business on-line! 

So...the vision begins to unfold! I can't wait!

See:

-my business developing and growing

-the connections and friends I have made

-the rise in my blog following

-the lives that have been touched

-my own personal creative space

-organization

-endless possibilities

-donating my time and money to a good cause

Feel:

-the keyboard under my fingertips

-the paper as I flip through pages of books

-the feeling of inspiration

-joy as I share, create, and inspire

-connection to others

-inspiration by my readers, mentors, and clients

Smell:

-fresh paint on my art journal

-the Scentsy candle in my office

-of success (not sure what that smells like...just sounded good)

Hear:

-the snapping sound of my camera

-the voices of my clients, students, and friends

-sound of the keyboard

-music playing on the background

-seminars and workshops I continue to attend

-the stories others share with me

Taste: 

-the snacks I have at my desk

-the lunches I have with colleagues

-the treats I bring to groups and classes I teach

The possibilities are endless.

besitos, xo

HALT! Four reasons your child misbehaves.

You would think that a kid who was so excited about being a rocket ship for Halloween would let me take a million photos of him wearing his costume. 

Nope.

I had to beg him to let me take just one photo and this is what he gives me...he practically is taking it off before I can even snap the shot.

However, we had a lovely Halloween.

I've been busy at a Play Therapy Conference and will talk more about that later. 

But I thought I would share with you a little reminder I had as a parent yesterday. When our child misbehaves, our first response as a parent is to stop the behavior. But as parents we ourselves have to HALT and look through the eyes of a child. Children usually act out because they are one or more of these four things:

H- hungry

A- angry

L-lonely

T- tired

CONFESSION:

I had an experience yesterday where little man had a HUGE melt down. The reason being that the chocolate he had in his hands melted and he was sad that he didn't get a chance to eat it. Well, that is what he was telling me. But I knew he was coming from a place of hunger, tiredness, anger, and loneliness. He has missed his nap that day, filled himself with candy, and it had been a long day out of our usual routine where he needed some time to reconnect with me.

And let me tell you, it probably took a good 30 minutes of uncontrollable crying and some play before he felt better. Luckily dad was there to help out.

If we would have become upset and told him to get over it- how do you think he would have been left feeling? Would any of his needs have been met with that response?

How do I act when I am hungry, angry, lonely, or tired?

Just something to think about this weekend.

besitos, 

xo

P.S. Winner for the giveaway has been announced. Congratulations Deveney!

Channeling Lucille Ball...

I'll be over at How Does She right here talking about my:

It's where I use Reflection Boards or Soul Collages to process how I feel.

Here is more on one I did over the weekend.

I started with an initial large kitchen timer image. It looks like the one I have in my kitchen that helps me manage my time (more on that later) and I started by gluing it on the page. 

To me this timer represents lack of time and the desire to either stop time completely or find a way to get more of it.

I haven't figured out how to do that quite yet. ;)

I then added books in the corner and it reminded me of how I feel so much like a student still in my field and as a mom. You think you are going to get out of graduate school just knowing everything there is to know about the human psyche but life experiences continue to be my teacher. I feel like I learn new things each and every day from being a mom and a counselor.

Then, I added my girl Lucille Ball (or at least a look a like) and was drawn to her because of who she embodied as her character on "I Love Lucy"- I mean how can you not love her? Plus, I love that era and sometimes feel like I should have lived in the 1950s! I came across an article about Lucille and did you know that she didn't have her baby until one month before her fortieth birthday after several miscarriages? I knew she was my girl- there is always hope.

Then of course amongst her fabulous outfit I had to include her wearing a large "Mom bag" with  little toy robot sticking out of it. It represents to me the reality that motherhood brings but also the possibility of feeling feminine still and being able to laugh and have fun especially at those "Mom moments" like sporting around a ridiculous huge "Mom bag." You know what I am talking about.

I continued to add images and words until it felt complete. 

As I ponder on what I created in my reflection period- here are a few that come to my mind on what they could represent.

Anyhow- you will be seeing a lot more of this as I am beginning to get ready to launch my new website. Stay tuned.

Besitos, 

xo

Challenge: Make a Mess.

I have been wanting to do monthly challenges for myself to share with anyone who wants to join me for awhile now and I have decided that it's finally time to start...why wait- so, to follow up with this post of me as an anxious slightly OCD child who was afraid to make a mistake- I've decided this month's challenge is to:

 I am not that child anymore- in fact, I think I just may be more slightly on the opposite side of the spectrum of that child. I don't really consider it a good or bad thing to be the way I was... but I do know that I feel way more FREE.

 I attribute this shift to my field of study and going through a crazy three year graduate school program that really had me tapping into my personal patterns/issues and then making the conscious decision to let go of that little pleaser in me.

I also, attribute it to finding an outlet through photography and expressive arts that allows me to find my voice.

And lastly, I also attribute it to surrounding myself with people including the children and teenagers I work with who are so genuine and so real and for the most part not afraid of what other's think. 

It is a reminder to me that we all have inner children who need to come out and set us free from our so serious adult mess-avoiders.

So...

to get started- I want you to get your hands on this book and read it. You can read more about this book and my love for it here.

or

watch this video here:

Then I want you to grab some washable finger paint or regular washable paint and a large piece of paper and come back tomorrow to see what I am going to have you do with it...

I'm off to go do my challenge...post my photos tomorrow!

besitos, 

xo

Goodbye Summer...School is here.

Sadly Summer is saying goodbye to us...school is starting...

How do your kids feel about it? Excited, scared, angry, or sad? Little bit everything?

It is completely normal for kids to have back to school jitters. You may notice they either have a lot more energy and are bouncing off the walls...or they may be isolating and seem more sluggish than usual.

Some signs that your child may be feeling nervous for school:

Belly Aches

Headaches

Short and Shallow Breaths

Grouchiness

Loss of appetite

Restless Sleep

Clinginess

More on this subject real soon.

besitos, 

xo

How to listen to your child through their stories.

Now that you have a bag- {Make one HERE if not}

 I have a great tool that I use in my counseling practice to check in with what perceptions and beliefs my clients may have by playing a game I call "Story in a Bag."

Listening to our children's stories not only builds relationships with our children but they also can reveal a lot about what’s going on in their world.

You may have recognized this game over at How Does She  right {HERE} where I spoke on how to play the game.

Simply have a bag full of random items like this:

Then have your child pick 3 to 5 objects from the bag.

 Then they have to come up with an original story using those items in it. Have them come up with a moral to their story if they are old enough to do so. I love to hear what they come up with!

Many of you may be interested about how I use this Story in a Bag to understand more about the children I am seeing.

NOTE: Now, I am not advocating taking this tool and using it as a replacement for a "therapy session" but I am saying you can use it to listen deeper to what your child is trying to tell you through their story.

Questions to ask yourself that can reveal a lot about what's going on internally are:

What is a theme in my child’s story?

Does my child seem to have a lot of worry or anxiety themes?

Is there a positive or negative ending?

Is there resolution at the end of the story?

How are problems solved?

What values or beliefs are portrayed in the story?

What kind of attitude does the main character have when approaching a problem?

Who solves the problem?

Was there one way or more than one way to solve the problem?

The answers to these questions may parallel a theme or an attitude your child may have.

Things to be aware of and may require more attention are: 

- The story has sexual content in it:  is never appropriate to have sexual content in a child's story or play. If you are at all concerned, seek professional help.

-There is a pattern of stories that have anxiety or fears and often go unresolved: Children often tell stories about stuff that worries or scares them- but usually there is a solution or resolution to the conflict. 

-There is a lack of detail in their story: If your child is simply retelling a familiar movie or tv show and has a difficult time coming up with something new- then there could be concern. Childhood should be a time when imagination is at it's peak. Just keep observing to see if it translates in their everyday life. Are they playing age appropriately?

-Most of their stories are negative or pessimistic: Take note if the environments in their stories are dark and depressing or if the heros in the stories are powerless and always have failures. Just be aware if this at all parallels any behavior or attitudes you have noticed in your child.

Again seek professional help if you internally feel uncertain. They can help with any doubts or questions you may have!

Listen to your intuition-  you know your child better than anyone.

Any other questions- feel free to drop me a line. I love to help!

besitos, xo

My love for my BabbaBox and GIVEAWAY CLOSED

It came. 

The package I have been waiting for.

The BababaBox from BabbaCo.  

I must tell you how excited I was- it was like Christmas!

 I carefully opened the box lid...

Peeled back the cute little sticker...

To find that the theme this month was: "The Way I Feel."

My favorite topic!

...And there it was a magical box full of activities, creative crafts, exploration games, and a book all revolving around feelings!

I mean there was EVERYTHING...

...from a little tiny glue bottle to a pair of scissors! I never had to get up once to find something I needed. 

It was ALL THERE!

In one of the "Explore" sections we found the coolest "Feeling Finder" shades. 

 You and your child can put them on and explore and identify how other's are feeling. As a mental health counselor working with children- I can't tell you enough the importance of teaching our kiddos to learn how to "read" the facial expressions of others. It activates the part of the brain that increases emotional intelligence and increases their empathy and self identifying their own emotions. 

There was also a "Feeling Journal" where your child can track the feelings they find that day. Like if they see mommy laughing- they get to put a happy face in their journal. But watch out-if mommy is grumpy- (they go hide in the closet) then they put the mad face on.

Genius. 

Then, we made sock puppets and acted out many different feelings. 

 

Playing sock puppets with one hand while trying to take photos in the other- nearly impossible. But believe me- those sock puppets Henry and Wilma followed us everywhere throughout the day. 

Love it.

And as if BabbaCo didn't think of everything already...they included a little gift for me. 

Awwwww... I heart them.

And wanna know the best part?? 

You can get one.

BabbaCo is giving one lucky WeedstoWishes reader a FREE BabbaBox!!

*Offer ends Monday July 30th*

Lots of quick options to enter below:

a Rafflecopter giveaway

Good luck! and Enjoy!

besitos,
xo

My Date with our Summer Jars.

It is time for my annual summer list .
You know the list that little man and I must complete before summer is over. We almost completed the list last year!

And this year I have made Summer Jars to help us get started.
I will be showing you how to make these lovelies next Tuesday on How Does She.  So, get excited.

Our Summer list?

Fly a kite

Dandelion blowing

Catching butterflies

Swimming

Sprinklers

Water fight

Camping in the backyard

Making a fort

Blow bubbles

Make sandcastle

Stare at the clouds

Picnic

Go to the Zoo

Go to the art Museum

Finger Paint

Sidewalk chalk

Scavenger Hunt

Bike Ride

Feed the birds

Roast marshmellos

Camping
Fishing

Rolling down a grassy hill

Walk the dog

Hopscotch

Bug catching

Pinterst craft

Paper airplane contest

Plant flowers

Learn to paint something new

Learn to draw something new

Scrapbook

Photo walk

Slip n Slide

Water balloon fight

5 dollars at dollar store
Water Park

Have a Happy unbirthday
Make Homemade Lemonade
Make homemade bread
Photo Walk
Downtown Walk
Farmers Market
Plant something
Italian Sodas
Go on a hike
Botanical Gardens
Ice Cream in Hyde Park
Snow Shack visit
Sew something
Play Horseshoe
Throw a football around
Frisbee
Summer vacation
McCall, ID
Service Project
Bon Fire
Soccer Game
Try a new park


Words from Cristi the Counselor:
 I can't stress enough as a counselor working with children how important it is to continue a routine in the summer. Too often children who seem to do well during the school year struggle in the summer due to a lack of structure and boredom.  I am not saying plan every waking moment- but plan activities that still keep your children challenged, learning, working, creating, playing, and exercising. Not only will they be that more prepared for the next grade but they won't come to you grumbling about being bored.

HowDoesShe.com has some great and FREE printables for a reading activity for your kiddos-  Check it out here- it made me wish Little Man was reading so we could get started on this fun game!

Some ideas to keeping kids engaged in a summer routine are:
-Plan ahead and create a daily schedule (see here for my visual schedule tutorial)
-Have a set time they wake up every morning- same with bedtime.
-Pay to play- work first and then play.
-Don't forget  to schedule special play time
-Hang a sign on your outside doorknob that tells neighborhood kids when your kids are and are not available to play.
-Limit TV time
-Create a Summer Jar (check out Howdoesshe.com tomorrow for tutorial)


Don't let this Summer get away from you!

Seize the day. 

I want to know what's on your Summer list?

Besitos

xo

and that is exactly what I did....

I told you I was in the mood to art journal... and that is exactly what I have been doing lately. 

I decided to make this new little journal (check out here how I made it) my Gratitude Book. It is a place where I can put all the daily things I am grateful for. I printed off my Instagram photos and decided to use those to represent all the things I am grateful for.

I am grateful for being able to make a wish on a dandelion every time I see one.

 I am especially grateful Little Man also loves to stop and blow dandelions with me. 

 

I am grateful for my education. 

I am even more grateful that I get to spend the majority of my time home with my little man.

I am grateful for my husband and his ideas. Crazy and not crazy.

I am grateful for being able to enjoy downtown Boise. 

I love going to the farmer's market.

I am grateful for autumn walks.

I am grateful for being a mother.

 I am especially grateful that Little man still lets me hold his hand. 

 I am grateful for cupcakes and Oreos. 

Especially when it is an Oreo cupcake.

I am grateful for my art gratitude journal.

 Read more on how I made these pages here on Howdoesshe.com

xo